By:
Brian
Tracy
Perhaps the greatest challenge that you will ever face in life
is the conquest of fear and the development of the habit of
courage. Winston Churchill once wrote, “Courage is rightly
considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others
depend.” Fear is, and always has been, the greatest enemy of
mankind. When Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we
have to fear is fear itself,” he was saying that the emotion of
fear, rather than the reality of what we fear, is what causes us
anxiety, stress, and unhappiness. When you develop the habit of
courage and unshakable self-confidence, a whole new world of
possibilities opens up for you. Just think—what would you dare
to dream, or be, or do, if you weren’t afraid of anything in the
whole world?
Fortunately, the habit of courage can be learned just as any
other success skill is learned. To do so, we need to go to work
systematically to diminish and eradicate our fears, while
simultaneously building up the kind of courage that will enable
us to deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life unafraid.
Syndicated columnist Ann Landers wrote these words: “If I were
asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of
advice for all humanity, it would be this: Expect trouble as an
inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high.
Look it squarely in the eye, and say, ‘I will be bigger than
you. You cannot defeat me.’” This is the kind of attitude that
leads to victory.
The starting point in overcoming fear and developing courage is,
first of all, to look at the factors that predispose us toward
being afraid.
As we know, the root source of fear is childhood conditioning
that caused us to experience two types of fear: the fear of
failure, which causes us to think, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t”;
and the fear of rejection, which causes us to think, “I have to,
I have to, I have to.”
Based on these fears, we become preoccupied with the idea of
losing our money, or our time, or our emotional investment in a
relationship. We become hypersensitive to the opinions and
possible criticisms of others, sometimes to the point where we
are afraid to do anything that anyone else might disapprove of.
Our fears tend to paralyze us, holding us back from taking
constructive action in the direction of our dreams and goals. We
hesitate, we become indecisive and we procrastinate; we make
excuses and find reasons not to move ahead. And finally, we feel
frustrated, caught in the double bind of, “I have to, but I
can’t,” or, “I can’t, but I have to.”
Fear is also caused by ignorance. When we have limited
information, we tend to be tense and insecure about the outcome
of our actions. Ignorance causes us to fear change, to fear the
unknown and to avoid trying anything new or different. But the
reverse is also true. The very act of gathering more and more
information about a particular subject causes us to have more
courage and confidence in that area. There are parts of your
life where you have no fear at all because you feel
knowledgeable and completely capable of handling whatever
happens.
Another factor that causes fears is illness or fatigue. When we
are tired or unwell, or when we are not physically fit, we are
more predisposed to fear and doubt than when we are feeling
healthy and happy and terrific about ourselves.
Once we’ve recognized the factors that can cause fear, the
second step in overcoming fear is to sit down and take the time
to objectively identify, define and analyze your own personal
fears. At the top of a clean sheet of paper, write the question,
“What am I afraid of?”
Now, before you begin, I need to make an important point: All
intelligent people are afraid of something. It is normal and
natural to be concerned about your physical, emotional and
financial survival. The courageous person is not a person who is
unafraid. As Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear,
mastery of fear¾not absence of fear.”
It is not whether or not you are afraid. We are all afraid. The
question is, how do you deal with the fear? The courageous
person is simply one who goes forward in spite of the fear. And
here’s something else I’ve learned: when you confront your fears
and move toward what you are afraid of, your fears diminish and
your self-esteem and self-confidence increase.
However, when you avoid the thing you fear, your fears grow
until they begin to control every aspect of your life. And as
your fears increase, your self-esteem, your self-confidence and
your self-respect diminish accordingly.
Begin filling out your list of fears by writing down everything,
major and minor, over which you experience any anxiety. The most
common fears, of course, are the fear of failure and the fear of
rejection.
Some people, compelled by the fear of failure, invest an
enormous amount of energy justifying or covering up their
mistakes. And some people, compelled by the fear of rejection,
are so obsessed with how they appear to others that they seem to
have no ability to take independent action at all. Until they
are absolutely certain that someone else will approve, they
refrain from doing anything. Once you have made a list of every
fear that you think may be affecting your thinking and your
behavior, organize the items in order of importance. Which fear
do you feel has the greatest impact on your thinking, or holds
you back more than any other? Which fear would be number two?
What would be your third fear? And so on. With regard to your
predominant fear, write the answers to these three questions:
1. How does this fear hold me back in life? 2. How does this
fear help me, or how has it helped me in the past? 3. What would
be my pay-off for eliminating this fear?
Some years ago, I went through this exercise and concluded that
my biggest fear was the fear of poverty. I was afraid of not
having enough money, being broke, perhaps even being destitute.
I knew that this fear had originated during my childhood because
my parents, who grew up during the Depression, had continually
worried about money. My fear was reinforced when I was broke at
various times during my 20s. I could objectively assess the
origins of this fear, but it still had a strong hold on me. Even
when I had sufficient money for all my needs, this fear was
always there.
My answer to the question, “How does this fear hold me back?”
was that it caused me to be anxious about taking risks with
money. It caused me to play it safe with regard to employment.
And it caused me to choose security over opportunity.
My answer to the second question, “How does this fear help me?”
was that, in order to escape the fear of poverty, I had a
tendency to work much longer and harder. I was more ambitious
and determined. I took much more time to inform myself on the
various ways that money could be invested. The fear of poverty
was, in effect, driving me toward financial independence.
When I answered the third question, “What would be my pay-off
for overcoming this fear?” I immediately saw that I would be
willing to take more risks, I would be more aggressive in
pursuing my financial goals, I could and would start my own
business, and I would not be so tense and concerned about
spending too much or having too little. I would no longer be so
concerned about the price of everything. By objectively
analyzing my biggest fear in this way, I was able to begin the
process of eliminating it.
You can begin the process of developing courage and eliminating
fear by engaging in actions consistent with the behaviors of
courage and self-confidence. Anything that you practice over and
over eventually becomes a new habit. So let’s focus on some of
the areas where you can practice to develop the habit of
courage.
The first and perhaps most important kind of courage is the
courage to begin, to launch, to step out in faith. This is the
courage to try something new or different, to move out of your
comfort zone, with no guarantee of success. John Ronstadt, a
professor at Babson College who taught entrepreneurship for 12
years, conducted a study of those who took his class and later
became successful. He could only find one quality that they had
in common: their willingness to actually start their own
business in the marketplace. He calls this the “Corridor
Principle.” He said that as these individuals moved forward, as
though proceeding down a corridor, doors opened to them that
they would not have seen if they had not been in forward motion.
It turned out that the graduates of his entrepreneurship course
who had done nothing with what they had learned were still
waiting for things to be just right before they began. They were
unwilling to launch themselves down the corridor of uncertainty
until they could somehow be assured that they would be
successful¾something which never happened.
The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers.
Life is perverse in the sense that, the more you seek security,
the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the
more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you
desire. One way to get the courage to begin, from which
everything else flows, is to plan and prepare thoroughly in
advance. Set clear goals and objectives, then gather
information. Read and research in your chosen field. Write out
detailed plans of action, and then take the first step.
The second kind of courage is the courage to endure, to persist,
to stay at it once you have begun. Persistence is a form of
courageous patience, and it is one of the rarest types of
courage. Courageous patience is having the ability to stand firm
after you have taken action and before you get any feedback or
results from your actions. When you plan your work and work your
plan through patient persistence, even in the face of
disappointment and unexpected setbacks, you will build and
develop the quality of courage within you.
Whenever you feel fear or anxiety, and you need to bolster your
courage to endure, switch your attention to your goals. Create a
mental picture of the person that you would like to be,
performing the way you would like to perform. There is nothing
wrong with thoughts of fear as long as you temper them with
thoughts of courage and self-reliance. Whatever you dwell upon,
grows . . . so be careful.
The last type of courage is the courage to conquer worry—a form
of negative goal-setting. It is dwelling upon, talking about,
and vividly imagining exactly what you don’t want to happen. If
you worry long enough and hard enough about something, you are
going to attract it into your life. The great tragedy is that
even if the situation you are worrying about does not
materialize, your health and your emotions will suffer just the
same. And the fact is that most of things that people worry
about never happen.
The only real antitode to worry is purposeful action toward a
predetermined goal or solution. Since the conscious mind can
only hold one thought at a time, when you get busy doing
something to resolve your problem, you will not have the time or
the mental capacity to worry. And before you know it, your
worrysome situation will have been resolved.
The mastery of fear and the development of courage are essential
prerequisites for a happy, successful life. With a commitment to
acquire the habit of courage, you will eventually reach the
point where your fears no longer play a major role in your
decision-making. You will set big, challenging, exciting goals,
and you will have the confidence of knowing that you can attain
them. You will be able to face every situation with calmness and
self-assurance. And the key is courage.
About Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy is a leading
authority on personal and business success. As Chairman and CEO
of
Brian Tracy International, he is the best-selling
author of 17 books and over 300 audio and video learning
programs. Copyright © 2001 Brian Tracy International. All Rights
Reserved.
Related links
Brian Tracy Biography
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Tracy Website
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